# 48 The Nice Stuff Paradox *Week 9, Day 3 of [[00 The Wealthy Stoic Course]]* #source/course << [[47 Invest In Yourself|Back]] | [[49 The Definition of Wealth Is Control Over Your Time|Next]] >>⁠ ⁠ ## Content Yesterday, we talked about unapologetically embracing _your_ Rich Life. We talked about what this requires: **not caring about what others think**. One of the best ways to do so is to remind yourself of one of the uncomfortable facts about human beings: Nobody is thinking about you. Everybody is busy thinking about themselves. **[Instagram Image](https://www.instagram.com/p/CqswN3wOjQS)** In [_The Psychology of Money_](https://www.thepaintedporch.com/products/the-psychology-of-money-timeless-lessons-on-wealth-greed-and-happiness?_pos=6&_sid=975378a46&_ss=r)_,_ Morgan Housel calls this the “Man in the car paradox.”  When you see a nice car, you don’t think, “Wow, the person driving that car is cool.” You think, “Wow, if _I_ had that car people would think _I’m_ cool.” Psychologists call it the [Spotlight Effect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotlight_effect). It can feel like everyone is looking at you. But the timeless proven fact is, they aren’t! [Thomas Gilovich](https://psychology.cornell.edu/thomas-d-gilovich) led the research team that proved people overestimate the extent to which their actions and appearance are noted by others. It’s a very human tendency to feel and behave as if we are the focus of attention, as if everyone around shares our preoccupations and insecurities about ourselves. They don’t. They’re too busy worrying about themselves, focused on the belief that they’re the center of the people’s judgment. Everyone is focused on themselves, working through their own problems, navigating their own lives. Let that fact free you to live your Rich Life, to do the things you want to do, to do the things that make you happy. Live by the principles and the philosophy you believe in.  Enjoy “the tranquility,” [[Marcus Aurelius]] said, “that comes when you stop caring what they say. Or think, or do. Only what you do.” - - - ## Activity **The Spotlight Effect** How many times have you experienced the Spotlight Effect? Maybe when you're walking through the airport or like what today's lesson talked about, driving in a nice car. How many times have you navigated through life worried about what everyone else thought?