# Good friends transform you, not conform you
Created On: 07-07-2023 07:57 am
Up:: [[Friendship (MOC)]]
Tags:: #note/evergreen🌲
Topics::
Related:: [[When the tail wags the dog]]
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When you surround yourself with authentically good friend, your [[soul]] should be filled in a [[Conforming vs Transforming|transforming way, not a conforming way]].
Good friends challenge us to continue becoming our authentic and [[Actualized-self]]. If you're not either getting that from a friend or you can't seem to enable that for them, then you next to step back and assess your investment in that relationship more objectively: what're the factors that're tying you to that person or those people? Are those worth it? Are they serving you? Are you effectively able to influence them?
In the end, [[Life is too short for surface-level relationships]], and whether you're surrounded by them or can't break through to people to get to deeper levels of meaning, know that this rubs off on your and wears you down: you become conformed by, alongside, and through them.
This conforming or transforming outcome happens every time: be [[Mindfulness (MOC)]] and just listen to and challenge yourself.