# The Prosperous Coach ## Metadata - Author: [[Steve Chandler, Rich Litvin]] - Full Title: The Prosperous Coach - Category: #source/books ## Highlights - A coach once asked me, “What’s the secret to being an extraordinary coach?” “Extraordinary clients,” I replied. “That’s easy to say,” he retorted, “but how do you get extraordinary clients?” What I said to that coach is what I will now say to you: Be fearless in your coaching. And be fearless in how you create clients. ([Location 230](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=230)) - Show your clients what they cannot see. Say to your clients what no one else would dare to say. And you will have all the clients you ever desire. ([Location 234](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=234)) - a coach without a client is not a coach. ([Location 258](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=258)) - People spend time with me. We talk. And miracles occur. ([Location 291](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=291)) - what I actually do is help my clients see their world differently. Because when you help someone see their world differently, their world changes. ([Location 324](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=324)) - When someone sees the world differently, they show up differently, and they create results that looked impossible a moment before. That is a miracle. ([Location 326](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=326)) - Coaching is a good profession for people who are genuinely devoted to making a difference in the lives of others. ([Location 348](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=348)) - We know from experience that all these coaches will end up as one of three distinct practitioners: Pro coach Part-time coach Personal Growth Coach ([Location 370](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=370)) - Your clients are paying for their dreams. And their dreams are priceless. ([Location 391](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=391)) - The Struggling coach wants to coach anyone and everyone. They are afraid to ask for money. They want to wait until everything is perfect before they charge for coaching. They spend their time, energy and money on “getting the word out.” They think that marketing is essential in order to sign clients. The Pro coach is committed to coaching, no matter what. Failure doesn’t stop them. They are not embarrassed by their mistakes. There’s no turning back. The Part-time coach learns to love their full-time job. It’s what brings in the cash to allow them to do the coaching they love in their spare time. The Personal Growth Coach loves coach trainings and reading and seminars as ways to deepen their understanding of life, business, money, health and relationships. ([Location 401](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=401)) - The Struggling coach thinks that because they give advice to their friends they will be successful as a coach. They coach without permission—friends, family and colleagues—and they cannot distinguish between impactful coaching and unsolicited advice. The Pro coach learns to love selling coaching. And they know that cash is not the only way to be paid for coaching. You can be paid in experiences. You can be paid in relationships. You can be paid in learning. You can be paid in referrals. The Part-time coach understands that limitation creates value. Only having a couple of hours a week for coaching makes them more attractive as a coach, not less. The Personal Growth Coach learns to love supporting their friends and family (with their full permission). ([Location 410](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=410)) - The Struggling coach thinks getting clients is the “hard” part. They seek more and more information about how to “get” clients. They want more and more information on the latest, newest “magic marketing system.” And they think that they just need to find a guru to teach them the “right” way. The Pro coach knows there is no… ([Location 419](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=419)) - The Struggling coach tries to please everyone. The Pro coach serves people and does… ([Location 424](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=424)) - The Struggling coach wants to be comfortable. They want to be liked. They people-please. And they wonder why their clients miss sessions and don’t show up on time. The Pro coach knows that being uncomfortable is the only way to grow. And because they create such… ([Location 426](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=426)) - The Struggling coach has huge dreams that overwhelm them. The Pro coach has huge dreams, and… ([Location 431](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=431)) - The Struggling coach is scared to ask for money or to state bold fees because they are afraid of rejection. The Pro coach knows there is no such thing as a high-paying client. Your fees are… ([Location 433](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=433)) - The Struggling coach spends their time creating a beautiful website, stunning business cards, requesting “likes” for their Facebook group and sends out tweets on… ([Location 437](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=437)) - The Struggling coach has never invested in their own coach. They don’t see the message this sends, that they don’t even believe in coaching enough to invest in it for themselves. The Pro coach understands that receiving coaching is part of their professional development. They model the power of coaching by devoting a significant part… ([Location 440](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=440)) - The Struggling coach thinks money is like oxygen. The Pro coach knows that… ([Location 445](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=445)) - The Struggling coach thinks confidence is a requirement before taking action. The Pro coach knows that confidence… ([Location 448](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=448)) - The Struggling coach tries to sell the concept of coaching. The Pro coach sells by giving people a… ([Location 451](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=451)) - The Struggling coach seeks more and more credentials. The Pro coach knows that credentials are irrelevant because the only question clients ever… ([Location 454](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=454)) - The Struggling coach is reactive. The Pro coach… ([Location 458](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=458)) - Safety is the enemy of success. Be proud of your mistakes. Take a risk. Fail spectacularly. And… ([Location 460](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=460)) - If you want to be successful you need to learn to love the business of coaching as much as you love coaching itself. ([Location 481](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=481)) - My business plan has become one line: Meet fun and interesting people. My attention is on building relationships and coaching people and making bold proposals. ([Location 486](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=486)) - I enroll my clients by coaching them. ([Location 488](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=488)) - Lead powerfully. Challenge how your clients see the world. They do not need sympathy. They do not need you to be their friend. ([Location 492](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=492)) - And I love to spend time in beautiful places, so when I do meet clients in person, we meet in beautiful hotels or in inspiring locations. ([Location 512](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=512)) - If you don’t consider your dream lifestyle when you begin coaching, you become like the American executive who, in an old joke, arrives on a beach on a beautiful island. The executive strolls down to the beach and notices a fisherman rowing in to shore. His boat is chock full of fish, and the executive asks him what he’s doing. The fisherman replies, “I’ve been fishing because I love it. And now I’m going to have a barbecue on the beach with my friends. I’ll play guitar and sing and hang out on the beach, and then in the evening I will dine with my wife under the stars.” “That’s crazy,” says the executive. “You’ve caught so many fish! I can invest in you and we’ll sell the fish and make a ton of money!” “Why would I want to do that?” says the fisherman. “Well, in a few months, we could invest the profits and buy a bigger boat and make even more money,” says the executive. “Why would I want to do that?” says the fisherman. “Well, in a few years, we could invest the profits and open a factory on the beach and process our own fish and make even more money,” says the executive. “Why would I want to do that?” says the fisherman. “Well, with all the profits from that you could eventually retire early. And then you could go fishing just because you love it. And then you could have a barbecue on the beach with your friends. And you could play guitar and sing and hang out on the beach. And then in the evening dine with your wife under the stars…” Start to outline your dream lifestyle now. ([Location 513](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=513)) - Note: Wow! I absolutely LOVE this! - Imagine your life five years from now. Ten years. Who are your dream clients? Where would you love to be coaching them? What else would you love to be doing? ([Location 528](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=528)) - People pay you not what they decide your coaching is worth, but what you decide your coaching is worth. ([Location 530](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=530)) ## New highlights added October 23, 2023 at 12:45 AM ### “Why isn’t this working?” ### Without a client you’re not a coach ### To hell with circumstances ### Drop the phony stuff ### Set your bar high. And clear it. ### Choose your level of engagement ### Or be a struggling coach ### Love the “hard”… - Design your preferred lifestyle ([Location 496](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=496)) ### Cultivate deep foundations - To become highly successful as a coach, you need to master three disciplines: You need to master the business of Creating Clients (in fact, to be highly successful, you need to love creating clients as much as you love coaching clients). You need to become adept at Fearless Coaching (a willingness to courageously lead your clients in the most powerful way possible). And beyond these, you need to be willing to work your own process—and do the Deep Inner Work necessary—so you can see your own blind spots. You can’t take your clients any deeper than you have been able to go in your own life. ([Location 542](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=542)) ### Clients are created not attracted - The best way to predict the future is to create it. Peter Drucker ([Location 552](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=552)) - The kind of clients you would love to work with are only created in a conversation. And high-performing, high-paying clients are only created in impactful, life-changing coaching conversations. ([Location 561](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=561)) ### Invitation and referral only - Great businesses have always known that the magic is in building great relationships. ([Location 597](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=597)) - Get a coach. Because you can’t take a client any deeper than you have gone yourself. ([Location 599](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=599)) ### Okay, here we go, a bold promise: THIS WILL GET YOU CLIENTS - Maintain innocence in getting your yes/no. Yes lives in the land of no. If they have to “go think about it” the conversation was not complete. ([Location 624](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=624)) - Slow down. All the wealth you want is right there in the next conversation. Don’t have a huge to-do list, just be with Who’s Next. ([Location 628](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=628)) - Get a coach. A coach without a coach is like a doctor who won’t see a doctor. Get a coach who will build your practice and change your professional life. ([Location 629](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=629)) - Be great at what you do... not just good. Have routines, habits and practices that guarantee that you become better and better as a coach every day. Read books, see movies, listen to audio and talk to people who make you better as a coach. Every day. ([Location 636](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=636)) ### Have the disciplines be fun #### Discipline #1: Sell the experience, not the concept. #### Discipline #2: No cold calling. #### Discipline #3: Know the half-life of enthusiasm. - I want to take my action as soon after the event as I possibly can. ([Location 674](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=674)) - Note: To capitalize on the otherwise diminishing ethusiasm that people have for working with you. #### Discipline #4: Do not use email. - Coaching is a very intimate experience, so you don’t want to send a long email explaining the value of your coaching. It will not arrive in the same spirit in which it was sent. Please be awake to that. ([Location 689](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=689)) #### Discipline #5: Honor conversations. #### Discipline #6: Certainty versus belief. - I don’t need to “have confidence” or learn to believe in myself to say those facts to the person I am talking to. “One of my clients just had a 20% revenue increase last quarter.” ([Location 709](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=709)) - I want to really be connected with certainty. Because if I go the other direction—if I go in the direction of whether I am deeply, personally, really “worthy,” then fear enters in. ([Location 712](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=712)) #### Discipline #7: Share stories and case histories versus features and benefits. #### Discipline #8: Find the goal behind the client’s goal. - you want your client to describe the gap between the goal and today’s reality. You want a long description of the client’s default future: What if you don’t do anything (like this coaching) and nothing changes? What does that life look like? What is the downside of this default future of yours? What are the consequences? How painful is it? ([Location 738](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=738)) #### Discipline #9: Do not be needy. - We don’t want to be needy. We want to have it be the opposite. We want to talk and think deeply about the client’s world, not ours. The sale always occurs inside the client’s world. ([Location 746](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=746)) - If you haven’t heard back, send a gift and a note. Don’t even refer to working together. Contribute and serve. You don’t need them; they need you. Behave accordingly. ([Location 756](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=756)) #### Discipline #10: The Lamp Post Metaphor - This is something Michael Neill taught me. Any time I catch myself wondering if my coaching is really good enough to be charging what I charge—any slippage in my confidence, or my realization of how good coaching really is for people—I think about a lamp post. All right, so how Michael Neill talks about a lamp post is that even a lamp post would be good for a person. Let’s say a person leaves his place of business every evening and walks over to a lamp post and speaks to it. Maybe he vents, maybe he talks about the problems of the day and about opportunities for tomorrow and areas where he can make improvements. It’s just a lamp post sitting there. But if he returned to that lamp post every evening and shared his successes and challenges of the day and his goals and dreams for the next day, even that would make his life better, would help create a better person. Even talking to a lamp post every evening would be beneficial to a person. So your clients would get value if you just showed up. But as a coach you bring an entire world beyond a simple lamp post. You can really listen, you can see things. And you as a coach can be better than a lamp post. You can talk back. ([Location 758](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=758)) #### Discipline #11: Maintain innocence in getting your yes and no. - Please know that yes lives in the land of no. Don’t be afraid of no. ([Location 769](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=769)) - Do not be afraid to ask an innocent question like, “Is this something you would like to do?” ([Location 773](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=773)) - And if a person says no, that person usually explains what’s behind the no. “No, because…” Whatever is behind the no is showing me where a yes could come from if we keep talking. So no is fine, yes is even better. But the implied “maybe someday” does not serve either one of you. ([Location 780](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=780)) - don’t want the conversation to disappear into the ether. I’m the coach in this relationship so I want to show some leadership. I want to direct the action so that once someone says they want to work with me it gets completed! “Okay, great, so if you want to do this work, and you’re ready to begin, here’s what you need to do. Open your calendar so we can put our first session on it. What’s a good date and time for you? Wonderful. Now you can either pay at the website, mail your fee in or bring it to the first session, whichever way is most convenient for you. Any questions about that? Excellent. I look forward to this.” ([Location 793](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=793)) - It is a great service to people to direct them. When someone wants your work—wants your coaching—please direct them. ([Location 801](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=801)) - People are asking to be coached. They are asking to be led at this point. They are asking to be directed. ([Location 803](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=803)) #### Discipline #13: This discipline is really important. It’s called Slow Down. - Slow everything down. Because everything you want is right here in front of you. You just don’t see it because you’re racing around. ([Location 808](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=808)) - Remember that coaching occurs because of long, slow conversations. It occurs because of the focus you give to someone. It occurs because they have a sense that you are there for them, that they are very important to you, that you have time for them. You cannot have that happen if you don’t slow down. And the more you slow down, the more you’ll get done in this profession. ([Location 811](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=811)) #### Discipline #14: Get a coach. - if you do not believe in coaching enough to have a coach, how can you go to someone and tell them that coaching is vital? ([Location 823](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=823)) - The contradiction is that they really don’t see how powerful coaching is because they are not experiencing it themselves. And if you don’t have your own coach coaching you, in some way your income is going to fall way short of what it could be. ([Location 830](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=830)) #### Discipline #15: Leave the conversation in the context of possibility, not the context of affordability. - Before our conversation ends I want to return the client and myself to the context of possibility. Even if we have slipped into the context of affordability, I want to re-direct the conversation to the context of possibility before it ends: What’s possible if we worked together? Why would it be worth it to you if we worked together? How would it be worth it to you? What in your world that you would like to be different might be different if we worked together? What’s possible for us? What would you like to change? What do you want? Why don’t you have it now? Tell me what you want and then tell me why it is not in your life right now. If you can tell me why it’s not in your life right now, you and I might be able to create a plan to work together to make that possible for you. What would that be worth to you? Would those results be worth that investment? You tell me. I’m not going to tell you. Now we are back in the context of possibility. ([Location 847](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=847)) #### Discipline #16: Limitation creates value. #### Discipline #17: Be constantly aware of the danger of role reversal. - Please keep in mind that you are the coach. You are the one considering adding someone to your list of clients. You choose clients based on their coachability—it’s not the other way around. ([Location 872](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=872)) #### Discipline #18: Be great at what you do—not just good. - I’m not saying every coach has to be great, but I am saying if you want to grow a really prosperous practice, aim for great and have it be something you wake up inside you every day. Have coaching be something you consciously and deliberately get better at every single day so you know you are moving toward greatness. ([Location 888](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=888)) - Therapy is about the past—healing wounds. Coaching is about the future. It’s about creating a future that’s different from the future that would have arrived by default if you had no coach and no sense of creativity and no commitment. ([Location 903](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=903)) ### Things you should simply stop doing - No high-performing client was ever created outside of a conversation. And no high-paying client was ever created outside of a powerful conversation. ([Location 917](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=917)) ### Try this step-by-step process - Connect + Invite + Create + Propose = CLIENTS ([Location 925](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=925)) #### Step 1: Connect - “Hey Sarah. Long time no speak. How’s things? How’s the family? How’s the business? What are you up to? What’s your next big project? What’s your biggest challenge right now?” ([Location 932](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=932)) - Note: I like those final questions. #### Step 2: Invite - Would you like some help with that? ([Location 943](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=943)) - If the answer is a clear yes, do not jump into coaching them in that very moment. Be like a doctor. If you meet a doctor at a party and you start to tell them about the problem with your knee, they won’t ask you to roll up your trouser leg! They’ll tell you to book an appointment. ([Location 944](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=944)) - Note: Haha, I like this parallel. I know I regularly feel pressured to "show up" and or even "prove mysef" just to get them in the fold. - be a professional coach. Not a social one. ([Location 947](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=947)) - If the answer to your question, “Would you like some help with that?” is a clear yes, invite them to meet with you. ([Location 947](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=947)) - “Who do you know?” It is so gentle and creates so much space that the person you are speaking to can relax and really hear your question without any of the natural resistance that most coaches create when they are trying to “get” a client. ([Location 952](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=952)) - “Christina, can you help me? I have a space available on The Confident Woman’s Salon. It’s a program for nine amazing women. Each woman is powerful, confident and successful. She has already achieved a great deal in life. And despite a track record of success, she is ready for support to achieve a goal that feels ‘impossible’ right now. Do you know a woman like that?” ([Location 954](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=954)) - Note: Really love this approach - Then, when someone says a name to you, never say, “Thanks, I’ll call them.” In fact, do the opposite. Get curious... “Tell me about her. What’s her big dream? What do you think may be holding her back the most in life, right now? Has she ever experienced coaching before? Do you think she’d be open to coaching? Why do you think she’d benefit from speaking to me?” ([Location 960](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=960)) - At the end of this conversation, if it feels like there may be a fit, say something like: “Have your friend call me or email me. You see, I never cold call. Even for a referral. Tell her that this is my gift to her from you. Tell her that I’ll block out two hours for her. I’ll create a powerful coaching experience and we’ll get her challenges handled. Forever.” ([Location 964](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00CLLACTA&location=964)) #### Step 3: Create